Brookgreen Gardens' Night of a Thousand Candles

An event that is touted as one of the most wonderful family traditions in the Grand Strand is upon us next weekend and through the end of the season. It's Brookgreen Gardens' Night of a Thousand Candles.

Brookgreen Gardens is beautiful, filled with amazing statues, flowers, plants, a boat ride and even animals. It's definitely a "must do" for visitors to our area and families who live here. The Night of a Thousand Candles event is dazzling but...and this is a big one...not for families with small children.

Last year we coordinated a few families worth of friends and took our infant, toddler and preschool-aged children for, what we thought, would be a night filled with "ooohs" and "ahhhhs". Instead, we all found it quite stressful!

The gardens are lit only by candles. And while there may, quite literally, but 1000 of them, it's still dark! If I was there with my husband only I would have considered it romantically lit. I would have enjoyed slowly strolling hand-in-hand with him. I may have even considered bringing a blanket and a bottle of wine. But since I was with my kids, I found the whole thing panicky dark. I felt the need to hold on to hands, full-time. I got nervous when I got minorly separated from my family. I was freaking out about my girls walking any where other than in the middle of the paths because on either side there were open flames.

As could be expected, the event was PACKED. So add very dim lighting and open flames to mobs of people and you've got a far-less-than-enjoyable evening.

Make no mistake. The Night of a Thousand Candles is gorgeous. It's so lovely. It's just not a family event...especially if your children are less than about 10 years old. If you want to enjoy it, get a babysitter. :-) I highly recommend Frank's Outback for dinner prior to your visit. The food is exquisite! It's one of the few truly fine dining experiences in the Grand Strand.

Thoughts on a stay-at-home-saturday

More Thanksgiving joy - my older daughter is sick! Seriously, we're cancelling this holiday next year! Thankfully one of the docs in the practice we see was able to phone in some antibiotics. My poor kiddo. It was like a fever just whacked her on the butt. What's worse is that to the touch, she felt cool. I reluctantly took her temp, telling her "I'm sure you do not have a fever." When the thermometer beeped, 101.6. Nice.

So today it's a bona fide rainy day. We were thinking about taking the kids out to see Bolt, but we'll just how my pumpkin girl is feeling. I'm completely confess that hanging around the house, cleaning up, making out Christmas cards, maybe wrapping a few gifts, being lazy and working on some Christmas decorating sounds like a pretty good day to me. I'm such a homebody.

Tomorrow we have a holiday brunch that everyone is on board for. Lots of our friends will be there. My favorite jolly old elf will make an appearance. We'll eat loads of good food. There's no way we're missing that! But for today...we'll just hang.

And in case anyone is counting...only two more weeks until our Disney World trip!! Everyone is on a strict "stay healthy" regime. We can not wait! Hubby's cousin and his family are heading down tomorrow. I am giddy to hear their trip report. All of the anxiety about getting everything done before the trip so I can actually enjoy it and not feel stressed when we get back is fading away. Another close friend and their family will be traveling down there at the same time and I think she's experiencing the same. But I'm honestly praying and crossing fingers and toes that everyone stays well. Traveling during the winter is so risky!

What Thanksgiving means to my family...

To our family, Thanksgiving means injury and illness. That's right... injury and illness. While we definitely do take time to say "thank you" for all of our wonderful blessings, I think next year we're all going to work, eating pizza for dinner and generally acting as if it's any other day. Perhaps we'll roast a turkey the day after or something.

Just to list a few, the Thanksgivings of years passed have included two gallbladder removals and something involved blocked intestines. This year my mom is sick to the point where she had no voice, I dropped a steel stand-mixer bowl on my foot breaking a toe and quite likely another bone in my foot, my sister-in-law's brother is on the brink of death in the hospital from congestive heart failure and I found out that my oldest niece has two ovarian tumors, one nearly the size of a lemon.

This morning my daughter is crying intermittently about a sore in her mouth by her cheek. My foot is a lovely shade of black and purple. My mom is hoping her doctor is open and will see her today.

Maybe all of my neighbors who have had their Christmas trees up for a week and outdoor lights on for a few days have the right idea. I've always gotten a little cranky about how, more and more, the North American society skips over Thanksgiving in a huge rush to get to Christmas. I, personally, refuse to give up pumpkins and turkeys and replace them with red bows and wreaths until at least Black Friday. When I do that, I feel like the "to do" list of Christmas totally gypped me an entire holiday. But given my family's health issues related to this one, I may opt to express my thanks to the universe sometime in July next year.

I'm off to get our Christmas decorations down from the attic. *sigh* Hubby is all ready to dive in. I still need a few days.

Get annoyed or not, the result is the same.

I gave this advice to my mom the other day. She and my dad were out, which can sometimes, itself, be a challenge. Mom wanted Dad to try on sneakers. He needs new ones and no matter she brings home, he won't like or they won't fit. It's absolutely necessary for him to try them on. But like I said, getting him there and getting shoes on his feet can be exhausting.

So there they were, all poised to try on shoes, when Dad's stomach started giving him trouble. Mom wanted him to try to just try to quickly get through finding shoes. Dad was distracted by his stomach. Mom urged him to try on a pair. Dad said he felt like he needed to go. Mom got frustrated because so much effort had already been put forth getting there and now they were leaving empty handed. In defeat, she said, "Let's just go." Dad, like a kid who finally breaks their parent down then feels guilty, said "Well that pair would be fine." Yeah, the pair he didn't try on. Meaning it would be no different than if mom came alone and bought something. They'd get home, he'd try them on, they wouldn't fit or he wouldn't like the way they looked and lather, rinse, repeat.

When my mom told me this story, my advice was to not get annoyed because the result was going to be the same. Once Dad's stomach starts to give him issues, there is nothing else he can think about no matter how much you want him to, essentially, suck it up for a few minutes.

Isn't it funny, though, when you have to take your own advice?

I was set on taking our annual Christmas card photo this year. It was a simple set up. My girls both have on nice neutral cream-colored shirts. Everyone is having a pretty good hair day. I was going to slap a holiday bow on the dog's head, go outside in our mild temps and beautiful afternoon sun and get that magical shot. Instead, my older daughter came home in a mood. When I started brushing her hair, she immediately burst into tears saying I pulled half her hair out. She cried and whined for no less than 10 minutes. I was losing all sympathy because I felt pretty sure the tears were only caused by the knots so much. She was obviously fragile for some other, unknown to me, reason.

The more I tried to rush her through properly reacting to her horrific injury and usher her back into shoes and outside, the more she upped the drama level. Finally I decided to just stop the whole process, sit down, turn on the TV and start writing. I don't have the energy to fight this losing battle.

Is it wrong to Photoshop my kids' heads with the dog's and insert the image of a bow? How recent do these pics have to be? :-)

Happy flippin' holidays....................................

*deep breath* No stress, no stress, no stress

Oh the irony...

Today I got on a roll of crossing tasks off my ever expanding "to do" list. One I had been particularly dreading was writing an email to my daughter's principal about our upcoming vacation to Disney World. It's against school policy to take your child out for travel. It's against district policy to do so for more than three consecutive days. Double whammy.

I'm not sure what got into me, but I fired it off. My wording acknowledged the policies. I expressed our reasoning for travel. I stated that our decision was made. I hit send without doing more than proofreading. That's not typically my style. I like to mull for awhile. I like to save things in my drafts. I like to read it to a minimum of a dozen people. Okay, so maybe that's a slight overstatement, but you get what I'm saying.

My daughter received an award for perfect attendance for the first quarter. I think that bolstered my confidence. Even when the principal emailed back about needing to schedule a meeting with the vice principal and the attendance officer to create an Attendance Intervention Plan, I was almost smug. No sweat. Hell, we're in mid-November and the kid hasn't missed a day! Then the phone rang...

"Mrs. Byers? This is Lori, the school nurse. We have your daughter here and she's running a temperature of 101.7. She doesn't say anything is hurting, but we'd like for you to come get her."

Obviously I went right to the school and got my little rosy cheeked girl. I called the doctor and we got in for a 4:00 PM appointment. The verdict? Double ear infection. She'll be out of school at least another day.

Anyone see the irony? I braved up to the principal. The the school nurse shot me down. Sure sure, these days will be medically excused. They won't count towards the ten maximum of unexcused. I already have the doctor's note. We're good to go. Still...oh the irony.

Be careful for what you wish

Ever since we got our new couches, which are extremely soft and cushy, I have longed for the opportunity to wrap up in our fluffy down throws and lounge like my life depended on it. For the past three days, I've done exactly that. Both my little one and I grew sicker as each day went by. I took her to the doc on Thursday and she was diagnosed with a sinus infection. Why I didn't make an appointment for myself is beyond me. My temp still lingers around 100 and I'm still coughing. Frankly, it's getting exhausting. Though I am thoroughly acquainted with our couches and the throws. I'm growing to resent them.

Today my older daughter got her first of many pairs of specs. Last night we had her eyes evaluated by our optometrist and the impairment in one of her eyes is so bad that her two don't work together. It's on the borderline between moderate and severe. If the glasses don't do their job in the next 6-8 weeks we will need to put patches over her eye. How friggin' traumatizing.

This afternoon we found some frames she liked and her glasses were ready in about an hour. As luck had it, her doc was in at that time and was able to take a quick look at the glasses and her eyes to make sure they were as he had prescribed. This falls into one of my "it was meant to be" moments file. Her doc has his own office and studio that isn't open on weekends. Only today did I learn that's because he works on Saturdays at LensCrafters. How convenient for us!

The frame choice of Miss Priss may have been swayed because this pair came with magnetic clip on sunglasses. They are a wire frame made of a dark copper color. I swear pink or purple would have won out. Regardless, she looks adorable. If only there wasn't a vision issue associated with them.

So I'm mildly devastated and quite relieved. I'm afraid that she'll feel a difference in attention she receives from classmates after the glasses go to school on Monday. It sounds like I'm being boastful, but I promise that's not where I'm coming from. My daughter is the popular little girl in class. All of the boys love her. I've seen it myself! Even today when we went to her school's fall festival, we sat across the table from a mom and her little boy. Our children knew each other from the bus. His mom introduced herself as my daughter's boyfriends' mother, laughing as she added "but your daughter didn't know that yet." I'll be sad for my little girl if that attention fades away. Not because I really want boys chasing her, more because I think it boosts her confidence.

Though bottom line, I feel so blessed that this vision issue was found now. I have no binocular vision. This develops in your brain between ages 6 and 8. My disability was realized too late to do anything. My daughter is 5 1/2 and I honestly pray we're early enough. I want her to have the gift of good vision and I'm crushed she hasn't had it all along. I swear, I still say we had no idea. :-(

On a totally unrelated note, we got a new vacuum today. I joined http://www.consumerreports.com/ for one month to research vacuums and ended up trashing their recommendations. We had $200 in Target gift cards and I didn't feel like disregarding them because the top rated brand is only sold at Sears. So we threw all caution and research to the wind and got a Bissell Healthy Home. Wish me luck that this mother is effective. We couldn't resist the urge to crank it up tonight and it seems to have done a good job.

Another project I've been working on is finding Christmas gifts for my girls. My brother and his wife rely on me to provide a list of presents for them to get. I did one better this year and actually purchased one. The Disney Store clearance priced their Halloween costumes two weeks ago. These guys retailed for $39.50 and were now priced at $10. I bought my older daughter a Belle costume that I have since realized is too big, but fixable. I was holding out for Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty for my little one, but darn it - they are STILL full price! On that first day I picked up an Ariel one for a friend's daughter's birthday. Since she and my daughter are the same size, I had my little one try it on to make sure it would fit her friend. Lo and behold, my daughter fell in love.

Tonight I made, what I vow to be, my final Disney Store run trying to complete this stupid gift. What's got my eye now, though, are their "deluxe" costumes. Imagine what the "real" Cinderella's dress looks like and miniaturize it. These absolutely beautiful dresses retail for $79.50. They are clearance priced for $22.50. *gasp*

You'd think I'd snatch them up, but I've resisted. "Are you nuts?" you may wonder. Perhaps. But the lingering question floating around my brain is "who am I buying it for? Me or the girls?" When I was little, I wished and prayed for such an amazing costume. I dreamed of twirling and singing in one. I'm sure at some point I begged my mom to make me one. My girls, on the other hand, won't appreciate the extra petticoats. They've been there, done that in various forms. Besides, the Belle dress I already purchased for $10 is really really beautiful! The Ariel costume, which I ended up getting for $7.50, is quite a bit less grand, but let's face it - it's a mermaid tail. How full can that be? So now I have to try to stop thinking about the amazing deal. The girls have FAR too many toys. They are getting a buttload for Christmas. They do not need more. We don't need to spend more money. They will love the costumes I've got. Do not buy them. Stay away. Disney should let us vacation in the World for free based on the huge amount of money we spend on their products yearly. *deep breaths*

Sick and sad - the joys of motherhood

Why are children such petri dishes of germs? My younger daughter has had a fever for the past 36 hours. She stayed home from ballet class last night and preschool today. As a result, my throat is killing me and my ear is aching. Thanks. I still love you, but thanks.

Perhaps the shock of this week weakened my immune system. Yesterday morning I got a call from the school nurse. It turns out my older daughter has impaired vision. What? Wait...WHAT?! Ladies and gents, I had no idea! Looking back, perhaps I should.

I have severely impaired vision. It's so bad that my eyes don't work well together so I have issues with depth perception and tend to bump into things and trip on them ALL the time. Who else is klutzy? You guessed it. And I never put two and two together.

I have a few thoughts running through my head. 1) I am, of course, thankful that this has been identified and we can get my little sweetie specs. I'm praying she notices a difference and is happy about it. I'm also seriously praying that her coordinated vision isn't impaired. As I've been told, you either have it or don't by the time you're six. I have like 5 months to do my best to ensure she is, indeed, looking at objects with both eyes. 2) I feel like a bad mom. Somehow I should have known!!! 3) I'm sad because I feel like I'm looking at her cherubic little face for some of the last times without glasses. Will she get picked on at school? I can tell she's the popular little girl in kindergarten. All of the boys like her. Will she feel the difference?

I know that last one is shallow but it comes from experience. I've had glasses since I was literally 18 months old. I've heard every joke in the book and I'd love to spare her from them.

Woe is me. It's 8:12 PM. Somehow the gals were in bed by 7:15 PM. I just spent the last hour working on expense reports and I'm off to bed. My last project for tonight is deciding between Sudafed and the hard stuff...Benedryl. I'm leaning towards the Bennie. I need to sleep!

Newsflash - I just firmly said "no" to something. I'm shocked!

A really good friend of mine just asked for our family to be involved in a lovely holiday party at a local nursing home for the elderly. Her grandmother is there and she'd love to bring some cheer to the other residents with decorations, crafts, children, treats and probably gifts. I adore her for putting her effort where her heart is because it's all too often folks have these thoughtful ideas and no time or resources to execute them.

Are you humored about how I've titled this post "I've just said"no" to something" just before telling you what a beautiful party this will be?

We will return from Disney World on 12/20. The party is on 12/22. I had taken that week off from work to bake, do holiday crafts with the kids and generally get ready for Christmas without having to juggling my mountain of vacation laundry AND my job.

I know my children. They are not those warm fuzzy kids that come with an easy smile. They won't go along with the other children, merrily singing Christmas carols. They won't accept a cookie a friendly elderly lady offers them. They won't entertain the conversation. The event will be stressful for us and frustrating for those we're trying to spread cheer too. It's so well intended and will be lovely - it's just got a good match for us.

Normally in this situation I would beat around the bush, half-way commit, dread, feel overwhelmed, somehow try to make it work and leave thinking "why didn't you just say no to begin with!?" Today, without hesitation, though, I said no. I was tactful and gracious. I meant every word of praise I offered about putting this party together. I sincerely hope it turns out beautifully and is a really fulfilling experience for everyone involved. But still...we will not be there and I don't feel guilty about that. I did, however, offer to bake something or contribute a gift. LOL

A interesting advantage of having the Obama family heading up the ole US

As I mentioned, I wasn't in love with either presidential candidate. I ended up voting for McCain *gasp, it's true* only because I felt he was stronger in the national security arena. Palin was charming, but a bad bad choice for his campaign. He had a better shot at winning without her. Regardless, the point of this story is that I wasn't devastated with Obama won because he could have very well been my choice as well. In fact, I've said a dozen times I wish I could have combined the campaign with McCain as prez and Obama as VP. That would have been the perfect ticket!

Today, while eating lunch with my 4 year old and scanning this week's issue of People magazine, I said to her, "See this man? This is the new president of the United States. When we waited in that long line to vote last week, this is who won." I then explained the process about how the whole country had to vote, much like when I take a vote for going to the aquarium or park and whichever choice has the most votes wins. I talked about Barrack Obama had the most votes and now he's president.

I flipped through the magazines and showed her pictures of Michelle Obama and their daughters. Suddenly, at the sight of the children, she grew interested and asked questions. "Where does he live? What's his phone number? When will I see him? Is he a dad?" I got almost giddy. I never thought about it, but I think having a young family in the White House will rope in the interest of children in civics all across this nation!

Our conversation ended with my daughter telling me that I should let her know when we'll see him because she'd like to make him a picture at her school. While McCain was my choice, he wasn't be nearly as relatable to her.

I'm doubting she'll be asking about changes to domestic fiscal policy come January of 2009, but she knows far more about our government and how it works because of a picture of Barrack Obama than she did a few hours ago and as a parent, that's a success!

I, about an hour ago, turned into my mother

I can remember my mom having this glow-in-the-dark plastic #1 key chain that she'd stick masking tape too with notes to herself. I can remember being in 4th grade and she had "violin" on the masking tape. Guess she thought I needed some practice!

Tomorrow is my daughter's snack day at kindergarten. Miraculously I remembered to purchase said snack at the grocery store with no panic. I found exactly what was requested. I have the popcorn bags in my handy dandy reusable bag. The water bottles (which cancel out the reusable bag ten-fold, in case anyone is keeping an environmental score on this one) are still in the garage so I don't forget them.

As I prepped our things this evening to ensure a smooth morning (which included a thirty minute search for a missing blankie) I taped a piece of paper that reads "Snack Day" on both my steering wheel and jogging stroller - didn't want to limit my mode of transportation! As I walked back from the garage, it hit me. I have just turned into my mother. I, again, realize she is brilliant and deserving of a momorable mention. You rock mom!

Idle conversation in the hour and half wait to vote

As my daughter told my husband on Tuesday night, "I boated" (voted). She proudly wore the sticker she earned. Sure she didn't actually select a candidate, but she waited with me and her sister. That was a bigger commitment to her than choosing the next president of the United States.

Of course, I'm tragically late in talking about this topic, so no need to discuss who I voted for and who won. I will say I didn't have my mind made up until I got into line, so I wasn't in love with anyone. Yet I will say that several people I know have been laid off or lost their jobs completely since Tuesday, so that's a little scary. I pray it's not an indication of what the economy will be like during the next four years.

So anyway, while we waited for roughly 90 minutes, I listened. Everyone around me was making friends with each other. I was on my own as, I guess, I had my children to talk too. Here are snippets of what I heard. Gotta love idle chatter.

"I wasn't sad when my parents sold the house I grew up in. Most of my memories were of getting yelled and grounded there."

"What is dog rescue? I mean, were the animals actually in a threatening situation?"

"Are golden retrievers good with kids?"

"I remember walking through snow that was waist high to school" (uphill both ways, I'm thinking)

"Do you teach them at home?" (said to me)

(said to my girls) "Girls, in my Happy Meal, I have a boy toy. Would you like it?"
(oldest daughter) shakes head
(me) "Mommy would"

"Man the line is long."

"How much longer will we have to wait?"

"We've been waiting for 50 minutes."

"Waiting sucks."

"Waiting, waiting, waiting..."

"Have you ever noticed that Wal-Mart's loud speaker is really loud?"

Feelings of dread

To say I've been busy is a horrid understatement. Since my last entry, I've spent a week in the Bay Area for work, had my older daughter lose a first tooth, celebrated my 34th birthday, celebrated my younger daughter's 4th birthday (several times, actually), went to two fall festivals, attended a kindergarten field trip to a farm and threw a party. You'd think I'd be spending this weekend in a pretty blissful state of quiet. Nope.

I'm held by a few confidentiality agreements, but without saying too much, it feels like so many of my friends and family are losing their jobs. It's hard to not worry about when our family's "other shoe" will drop. We're doing okay financially. Our Christmas should be good. We're heading down to Disney World. I'm not complaining in the slightest. Though I suddenly feel strongly that I should be dedicating a set amount of time each week to work on the book I've started. There may come a day when I'm desperate for that income.

While one specific friend is trying to keep her spirits high, when I saw her today and she told me her husband was laid off, I could see anxiety and tears just below the surface. I really want to take her out to dinner just to talk, but I wouldn't want to ask her to spend needless money and I don't want it to seem like I'm pitying her by paying. Maybe it should be a cup of coffee, so there's no big expense. I don't know...but I want to hug her. Her kiddos were with her, so I knew she had to put on a strong face. I feel so bad. :-(

While my husband and I have our jobs, I just feel so dreadful. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I have huge bags of Halloween candy that comfort me in the way of killing me.

Why do these things always happen right around the holidays? I just feel so bad.